Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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