Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Randomize
