i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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