Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize