I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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