Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
