dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
