glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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