3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
