He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
