drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
