My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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