3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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