Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
