Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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