Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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