Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry beacherr hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend

Fav 5 1785 832
share tweet
(205): View more from Alabama

i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!

Fav 92 2560 5032
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.

Fav 8 6042 1514
share tweet
(641): View more from Iowa

My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.

Fav 9 4022 1376
share tweet
(951): View more from California

I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.

Fav 18 3508 1358
share tweet
(518): View more from New York

Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.

Fav 7 2197 949
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(949): View more from California

Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.

Fav 10 1674 894
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.

Fav 0 279 172
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.

Fav 0 45 20
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT