I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
