Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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