when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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