What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize