Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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