PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize
