I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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