you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
