BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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