Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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