ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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