She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
