We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm bleeding and have questions
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
