You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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