I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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