There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize