But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
