it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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