I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
