You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
