how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
