He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I will be naked everywhere
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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