i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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