is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
