Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
