this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize