NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
