Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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