He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
