This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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