69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
