my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize