I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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