And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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