is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
