The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
