bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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