its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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