winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
