Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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