he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
