I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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