It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
