Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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