So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
