wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
