so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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