Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
