I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
