I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
