Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
