Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize