That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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