omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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