So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
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